BUT I think part of the process is about acknowledging your journey.
Do you ever just think that you are just going through life but not really living? I felt like that for such a long time, I got complacent in a long-term relationship which led to me becoming a completely different person. And it has taken me a long time to come back from it, but I finally feel at at a point where I love myself again.
The last 9 months I have been really pushing myself to put myself first in all aspects of my life.
Along with the mental changes the main achievement I am proud of is my weightless journey which over the last 9 months I have lost over a stone and a half.
For the longest time I didn't recognise myself when I looked in the mirror. I was so ridiculously unhappy with the way I looked. I would cry endlessly over my personal appearance, not able to even contemplate that I would ever be me again.
And whilst I have lost a lot of weight the main part of my journey has been to love myself. I feel like I have such a more positive state of mind, in everything I am doing. I feel so much more motivated with life.
I have a very different attitude to the the gym, I now see it as a lifestyle which is something that I feel has made a major difference. I no longer see working out a chore, I cant wait to try something new out, or add more weight on to my deadlifts/squats, or run for a few extra minutes.
In terms of weight I can honestly say I think I have been my biggest and my smallest. When I first began my fitness journey in 2014 I was so skinny it looked unhealthy. I was obssesed with running I would run sometimes twice a day, eat the smallest salads, be really hard on myself. I had a really negative mindset I was so anxious and stressed all the time so I turned to controlling something that I knew I could.
I hit my largest point and was very unhealthy and had a very poor fitness level- despite still working out (very minimally). But now I have found a balance, where I enjoying pushing myself but I also understand that I am a human being and I will never be perfect. It isn't even about weight anymore, it is about being strong, healthy and happy. Yes I still have further to go, I dont particularly like certain areas of my body. But everyday I am in constant awe of what my body can do. Therefore I respect that its a process
Its not a quick fix, its a lifestyle.
